Hollow and empty

Its a new year, so thought it was about time I blogged. But lately, words seem to elude me. Its like i have all these beautiful words and sentences framed in my head, but the moment i get down to print it, they refuse to show up! just disappear, leaving me to stare stupidly at a blank page.

All that exquisite poetry, that had come rushing, lines and lines of prose, that promised to express an art...... all poof! vanished, leaving me with a dull ache inside of what would've been.

Writers always write with a purpose in mind, and use words to achieve their goal, and then one day they wake up to the reality that its not the words that vanish, but the intensity of the expression that leave words empty.....hollow and empty, as if they were a cheap lip service to the true nature of events.

Right now, i have no clue what i am writing, and worse, what purpose these words are going to fulfill, but really, does every damn thing we do are say have to mean something thing.
cant we write for no reason
sing for no reason
and more than that....exist for no reason.

Life screams for a reason to exist, and it shatters you to know that there really ain't no reason
and that i am but a dot in the history of existence.
Hah! another oxymoron! as if existence has a history. All this media, these books that we read, music, technology, is all a feeble attempt to make some sense out of this insanely complex world.

And amazingly we succeed in deluding ourselves to believe that we can actually make sense out of this world, and that there is a reason for existence.