Holy matrimony!

On a lazy Sunday afternoon, going insane with boredom, I flick through the newspaper supplement…hoping to catch something interesting….
And here’s what I came across.

CITIZEN of USA, 61 years (looks younger), athletic, good-hearted, and owner of successful Marketing Business in Boston seek Hindu Woman, 18-32 years old for marriage. Preferably vegetarian and pretty.

A matrimonial column...oh goody!
The gentleman above seemed to be on the wrong side of 60 having a fetish for girls young enough to be his daughter.

Some ads were short (each word costs)….
Alliance for prty, slm, elegant yng cultrd grl, educated wrg lecturer
Ok…I thought all lecturers were supposed to be educated!

On the other hand…. ......Remember that interview when you were asked about yourself, and you overdid it a tad bit too much….
SOWRASTRA, 39,CA, second son of retired Scientist, formerly working at Delhi with good salary, returned Chennai to look after aged parents, now under going Medical Transcription training, own a house at Perembur with properties financially self-sufficient and very shy type, seeks home loving & computer knowledge bride from same sect. Contact.Dr.R.Ambikanuja 688, Palikasanthji Street,Arrakonam -812 001. Ph.9935-2432265 (after 9pm)Cell:98882732101 (are you sure nothing’s left out?)
The dude sure seemed desperate!
Here are some commonly used jarons used in newspaper classified add(don’t bother taking your dictionary out!)

Family oriented – Sati saavitri bahu!
Home loving girls- forget about your career
Convent educated – stuck up spoilt brat
No demand- we’re doing a huge favor
Issueless divorcee- Hmmmm…
Youthful/young at heart - geriatric
Simple- Dumb, doormat

So if you’re single and not ready to mingle, but want to find that special one, what better ways then words…. even abbreviations are enough

wrg- working
BHP- biodata,horro(r)-scope, picture
SWE- sweet? Umm that’s actually Software Engineer
But at some point of time, you look beyond words…and talk in numbers! Yes it’s all about money honey!

SWE wrg in honeymoon (no) solutions
35,000 pm to the highest bidder.

Well, they say marriages are made in heaven, looks like cupid strikes between the lines of ‘matrimonial columns’ ….till then happy matrimony!

PS: a highly edited(read much better) version of this article appears on forth coming issue of dateline bangalore...monthly magazine called 'spouse on sale:offer open till stock lasts'.

teething trouble

Hannibal lecter strikes…….Tottenham Hotspurs striker, Dofeo was allegedly caught ‘biting’ West Ham's midfielder Javier Mascherano !
According to Dofeo and his coach, “it was a comic nibble blown out of proportion, and is all a part of the game”!
Referee let Defeo get away with this outrageous act! Uncle Tyson must be happy to hear that.
Since when has cannibalism become a ‘part’ of the game?
looks like something outta the dark ages, with barbarians and trolls(classic warcraft scene)
And hey, even the world cup finals aint less action packed…. Zidane’s head butting of Italy's Marco Materazzi to the ground!
What a joke –ridiculously rich multimillionaires who don’t know how to behave, and to think these guys are role models…maybe they should be sent back to kindergarten first to learn some manners.
It would make a brilliant idea for one of those ludicrous games that are churned out like, Carrmageddon where you run over people to gain extra points, or GTA, where innocent bystanders are murdered.
If kids have such “role models” and where being violent is "cool",
I don’t think Osama would have any trouble getting recruitment for his next training camp.

an ode to my roomies

What a bunch of crazy girls, totally drive me nuts…lets begin in alphabetical order

Heads turn when she walks in, this gal is a total babe, from head to toe..
That’s prerna, mere nichewali, I mean we share our bunk beds. Thank god she’s as messy as me…typical delicate darling, and a total romantic if ever…everything she owns is pink…her bucket, her towel…whew its gonna take the whole day if I started listing out . Reminds me of a princess ….her sweet innocence is what you'll first notice about her, instantly making her a darling of everyone! Falls sick every second day, and her panju accent…kya bakwaaas yaar.
Update: with her stint at editorial-ship complete,the editoral legacy unveils!!!hurrah!


No one’s perfect, but Rims is an exception. Most annoyingly irritatingly perfect…her cupboard and bed is like one of those catalogue advertisement. looks as if she just walked out of a saloon, with every hair in place. Lord where is justice…gives everyone an inferiority complex when she opens her mouth…she talks and talks and talks and I hate to admit it, she does make sense….just too intelligent for her own good, but doesn’t let anyone know, but once you do….you are just frozen in awe and marvel! Love to irritate her by saying she’d be a very good politician…but then she’d be good at anything she does, has an amazing satirical sense of humor. Oh, she talks to almost anything from a mosquito to a dog and even a lamppost! But beneath that tough exterior is a person who really cares a lot which she tries really hard to hide. Hah, u don’t fool anyone Rims!
Update: has a really annoying habit of making baby sounds, when she doesnt get her way!

Tina bina bhi kay jeena….oh yeah I’ll never forget that sulky pout she had when she first came to the hostel! I thought was shifting her entire house, with the amount of luggage she had! Reminds me of a cartoon called daffy duck (oops..sorry teens) she and preru are chronically obsessed with pink! Her love of life is her cellphone, she’s with here cell everywhere, at dinner, in her bed….! …she hates it when achu (our prof) forgets to mention that she‘s from Chattisgarh every time he introduces her!
Update: Her Date churan thing...hmmm heaven!

There’s another unofficial roomie who deserves a mentions…..stumbles into our room bachaoon, kuch khane ko hai…..mujhe chocolate chahiye! Being fully aware that our larder was emptied weeks ago! Blog queen, we share an eternal woe of not having better halves! Come 11 pm, and all rest are huddled into their ‘copchas’ getting all mushy and romantic….we console each other! Terrific writer and a person who anyone can easily relate…with sadie, what you see is what you get! One day when she writes her own book, she promised to mention me in acknowledgements as her first editor in PG (I’ll hold u against that)
Update:Is high on Naarial Paani.

Lazy Sunday afternoon….preru is on the phone with her sweetheart, Rims is chatting away furiously to Avi…Teens is probably playing agony aunt to someone over da phone, and sadie is blogging away to glory!
Have 8 more months together hope we can tolerate each other better by then…you girls rock! and will go places..love u guys!
Update:6 more months to go...some still cant tolerate the other!