Its always my way

I haven't posted here for so long that even those unfortunate souls who peek into this site
once in a while must have declared this blog unofficially dead.

I have been wanting to do that for quite sometime now, i mean deleting this blog.
If i was technically sound, i would have merged this with my active blog site (if that's a possible)
www.ephemeralflower.blogspot.com.

But i couldn't, i couldn't let memories die, as every word once published becomes a part of history. I love every line inscribed in these digital pages. Every grammatically incorrect sentence, every naive observation, and every feeble attempt to punch in humour and wit in an otherwise insipid post.

I plan to write a book someday in future, and then when its published, i shall come back to these pages. Back to the pages where i first discovered my integrity as a writer.

Nobel Prize Winner Muhammad Yunus

On social entrepreneurship!

A New Year Inspiration

While my writer friend, Goli and I were discussing on possible stories on NGO's I stumbled upon this video at this website called ngopost.org, needless to say, it rang a bell somewhere.
I especially like the conclusion at the end where he talks about social entrepreneurship, and how business which is run only for profit motive, address only one aspect of mankind, he says there is another aspect of human being that is the need to care and the the need to touch people's life.

And no economic theory and business model addresses this. In charity, the life of the money ends with the donation, but in a social business, a dollar has endless life. He also talks about a separate social stock market and gives example of such more such ventures.
Truly Inspiring and a brilliant way to start the New Year -To make a difference, not to one or two lives, but a whole generation of frontiers who will lead the future.

Take you time out (its an hour long) and watch it....it's worth every minute, and certainly something you'd like to start you New Year with.

And happy New Year all of you, i apologise for the depressing earlier post of mine, ignore it by all means, was in a weird mood when i wrote that. Love you all, and hope our connection gets stronger than ever this year!

Hollow and empty

Its a new year, so thought it was about time I blogged. But lately, words seem to elude me. Its like i have all these beautiful words and sentences framed in my head, but the moment i get down to print it, they refuse to show up! just disappear, leaving me to stare stupidly at a blank page.

All that exquisite poetry, that had come rushing, lines and lines of prose, that promised to express an art...... all poof! vanished, leaving me with a dull ache inside of what would've been.

Writers always write with a purpose in mind, and use words to achieve their goal, and then one day they wake up to the reality that its not the words that vanish, but the intensity of the expression that leave words empty.....hollow and empty, as if they were a cheap lip service to the true nature of events.

Right now, i have no clue what i am writing, and worse, what purpose these words are going to fulfill, but really, does every damn thing we do are say have to mean something thing.
cant we write for no reason
sing for no reason
and more than that....exist for no reason.

Life screams for a reason to exist, and it shatters you to know that there really ain't no reason
and that i am but a dot in the history of existence.
Hah! another oxymoron! as if existence has a history. All this media, these books that we read, music, technology, is all a feeble attempt to make some sense out of this insanely complex world.

And amazingly we succeed in deluding ourselves to believe that we can actually make sense out of this world, and that there is a reason for existence.

Shopping, movies...and lessons learnt

Shopping alone is quiet an unnerving experience. With a two months of untouched salary sitting in my bank account, i decided it was finally time to let myself loose in a land of uninterrupted indulgence....

its like being a kid and let loose in a candy or a toy store.
anyway, the phase one of my shopping spree began yesterday, i decided to go buy some nice Indian wear, especially after a week at ashram where i somewhat ashamedly realised that i woefully fell short of Indian wear.

here's what my shopping list looked like
two sets of salwar Kurta
A formal Handbag ( sick of carrying my signature journalist's jhola)
A well cut jacket.
shoes (yet to figure out what kind)
and yeah a haircut (that reminds me, i have ta fix up an appointment now!)

there's Dandiaya at Secunderabad club today, so finally i'll be able to party which is not work related, though i don't fancy seeing the same page 3 crowd who owe their whole existence to the pubs and nightclubs in town.

So i went to 'W', which stacked a lot of ridiculously expensive kurtis, as a matter of habit, i ended up checking out the western line, and guess what!
no prizes for guessing that i came back home with two fusion wear outfits (OK western)!

went to Odyssey, the bookstore, got this book called 'food revolution' (a must read for all disgusting dead carcases chomping 'in'humans)

and headed home
on the way picked up a DVD (bad idea, watches 3 movies which really sucked back to back and woke up at 10 am today morning, reached late to work)

picked up grocery (no use, ended up having instant noodles for dinner)

Lessons learnt

never go shopping alone or without a budget .

nor do i recommend renting those 3 in 1 movie DVD.
coz the combined effect next day is equivalent to a bad hangover and brains that feel like they desperately need to thaw after centuries in deep freezer.

For Indian wear, as boring as it sounds: Stick to Fabindia.

Eat meals on time, else you end up eating any junk that comes your way!

okay i'm done... hope this blog leaves you more enlightened on how not to DIY

Made just for me...

okay, lately, every post i've tried to write is turning out to be horribly sadistic!
been under a lot of stress, and have just not been myself at all. The situations i am in are really not pretty and am sick of being so negative, so i decided to write a blog about all the people i love and am grateful to have in my life (in random order excluding the first)

Here goes

Master....
Its not been easy, you know it better than me. But i have accepted it, coz i know the pain is never going to go away. But the only thing that matters is that you are there, come what may. And this pain is just to make me stronger and deeper than ever.

Mom....
I know i have been the biggest pain in the butt, and i probably wont get my room cleared till the end of this century. Thanks to you i know miracles like unconditional love exist.

Dad....
I am the same little girl who would run into your arms as soon as you came back home in your army combats.

Krish.....
You've grown so much, but you're still ma baby bro and i have every right to torture you.

Dinesh Bhaiya.....
I am totally confused, and you're probably the only other person who knows that. The compassion and warmth in your voice are like a balm to my aching heart

Bau....
apart form him, its you i totally aspire to be like. you're a phenomenon, that no one can explain
if only i could be half as vibrant as you.

Tapan Bhaiya....
I know you care, but i need time, god knows its taking me ages. This process is taking a lot outta me.

Rags and ami
you people are family and you don't thank family, only torture them.....so beware

Harini...
Trust me, i learn a lot from from you, being with you i know i just have to be myself.

Ree..
we talk a lot, but what we don't talk means much more. I'll never forget the day we pierced our nose, the day we took PTC, the day we travelled in Mumbai local trains eating Mc aloo tikki....

Pavs...
I was always a bit intimidated by you, coz i was so messed up back then. Now wish i had more time with you.

Manisha...
just the fact that you exist...

at this point am really emotional, so before i start bawling let me just leave after saying that there are many such who make life worth living, and just thinking about them, makes my day.

I feel so cherished and taken care of- no wonder am sucha spoilt brat, so next time i make one of my typical unresonable demands, just remember who's responsible for spoiling me.

once upon a writer

See this is what happens when you start writing for a living

there was a time when i'd crave for opportunities to write

a time when stories would be treated sacrosanct

a time when i'd feel proud and cherish every published work

a time when i knew it, like i knew it, like i knew it

that i was born to write.

Its funny how similar it is to marriage, coz in a way, yeah, i am married
to my work.

But writing aint the same anymore, its like i am this human story churning machine.

writing stories that get murdered in the hands of editors anyway,

stories that probably have little consequence to the lives that we live

and stories, that in no way even comes close to changing the world.

But I continue to write......

Because that's the only thing i know i can do, and can do well

coz one step at a time, i probably can change the world

and no matter what, if i am true to myself, whatever i write, that
truth will reflect in my story.

and the judge of that my dear reader is you.